Fidelis Ad Mortem

My mind can’t find the words to type what I am feeling. I keep starting to write and instead of words, there are tears. Instead of coherent sentences, there are images and emotions crashing around in my head. How does it happen so fast? One minute, a “quiet” night, and the next – a nightmare. The routine, calm voices over […]

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Come Home To Me

I thought it would fade over time, the way my throat closes and a momentary panic washes over me. I thought it would get easier to hear about the most recent loss, that eventually an unexpected knock at the door wouldn’t freeze my heart. I hoped that somehow I would become one of those people to whom the death of […]

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Thin Blue Line Shopping!

You guys! Today is a fun one for me, and I hope for you, too! Grab your coffee and pull up a chair! If you’re following this blog as a police wife, you probably found me through one of my from-the-heart posts about life as a police family. We all have different schedules, unique challenges, and unpredictable days, but at […]

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He’s Just A Man

  Is he a symbol or a man? To you, he is a symbol of something more. He’s a faceless uniform that walks the streets. You see his blue, you see his gun and shield. You see his car on the side of the road, and instinctively check to make sure you’re not speeding. You point him out to your […]

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I Am The Wife

I am the wife that sits alone, wondering if I will hear his voice. I am the wife that packs up the kids and goes to parties, school events, family functions and holiday dinners – with or without him. I am the wife that will never skip that kiss goodbye – because if today is his last day, I want […]

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Will You Remember?

We lost another brother, the latest on a growing list in a year that’s just begun. But that’s “his job,” isn’t it? It’s “what he signed up for.” “He knew what he was getting into.” I suppose in a way he did. He knew that his life would be on the line, that his time would never be his own, […]

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They Forgot

They forgot how many times you answered when they called. They forgot the lives you saved, and all the wounds you healed. They forgot how you stood patiently for hours while they marched, and that your own opinions didn’t matter on that day. They forgot that it was you who held their hands; that your eyes, too, were filled with […]

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This Is Our Life

“Never go to bed angry.” “Always kiss goodbye.” “Think before you speak.” “Live in the present.” Everyone has heard all that. So had I. I thought I was living by those words, and maybe I more or less was. It wasn’t until shortly after I was married, though, that I came to fully understand how important it all is. The […]

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