Date nights are important. We can all agree on that. But in the trenches of parenting, date nights can sometimes feel about as likely as a solid night of sleep. 😉
Sometimes Hubby and I reminisce about the days when every day was a potential date night, when romance happened easily because the distractions from each other were few and far between. Now, with 4 tiny humans running around, days full of my work and his, and his anything-but-predictable night time job schedule… date nights aren’t quite as easy to come by!
Romance is a habit.
In our own marriage, romance is a habit we had to learn to cultivate, because the days were slipping by and the trenches of parenting were making us forget to truly see each other.
You guys, do you ever feel that way with your spouse? Like your teamwork is great, your friendship is solid, your parenting and home run like a well-oiled (if slightly chaotic!) machine… but it’s just too easy to forget how it all began?
The romance. The flirting. The touch as you walk by. The kiss that’s more than just an absentminded peck.
We’ve been there. That relationship rut. We re-evaluated our habits and our time, and started forming habits to keep the romance alive while we’re here in the trenches of parenting.
The date nights, though – they were still a struggle. We kept trying to make time, we’d book the night, and get a sitter – only to have Hubby notified for work, or get stuck on a job. Bleh.
But then –
Two things we realized:
- Date night didn’t have to mean going out.
- Date night didn’t have to be at night!
Game changer! 😉
We don’t have the luxury of a routine schedule or nights together – but we have the option of being spontaneous at home, so we decided to make that work for us!
We started out with things like backyard picnics, brunch while the older kids were at school and the babies napped, an actual movie night with snacks and movie we chose ahead of time. Sometimes one of us would make a dessert or try a new appetizer. (Our stay at home dates were what finally got me loving sushi after hating the idea of it for most of my life! Ha!)
Date Night In is the next level of stay-at-home dates for us. Each box comes with it’s own date “theme:” spa night, to the moon and back, etc. and, you guys, it’s such a lovely way to feel like you’re doing something different, something special, without even leaving the house.
It takes away the guess work and brain power of planning our own date (because honestly, brain power is limited these days! :P) and leaves us with a truly stress-free, relaxing way to bond to enjoy each other.
Our box arrived, and true to form it was several days before we got a chance for time together. But we finally ended up with a random couple hours, and with no need for babysitter or schedule juggling, we got to enjoy a lovely date night in!
The box even comes with music suggestions to set the mood! Hubby’s mood was pretty good. 😉
This marriage-while-parenting thing can be a challenge, but I believe with all my heart that our children learn love first from seeing their parents love each other, so we will continue to smile, to flirt, to kiss, to date.
We will continue to make it a habit to remember the person we fell in love with, and to choose love each day together.
Maybe one day, date nights out will become a frequent part of life again, but for now, there’s a sweetness to these few quiet moments, when we can see other as we first began – with longing, with romance, with love.