I am the wife that sits alone, wondering if I will hear his voice.
I am the wife that packs up the kids and goes to parties, school events, family functions and holiday dinners – with or without him.
I am the wife that will never skip that kiss goodbye – because if today is his last day, I want him to remember love.
I am the wife that says no to others, even those I love, because sometimes it’s more important to spend time with each other.
I am the wife that has learned to value 10 minutes of quality time over hours of careless exchange.
I am the wife that picks up the pieces of his heart when he comes home shattered by what he has seen.
I am the wife that holds him close, when the horror overwhelms him.
I am the wife that understands his need for peace – a peace that is in such contrast to what he lives out there.
I am the wife that will smile and answer casually when they ask me “Where’s your husband,” but inside I will be saying. “I do not know.”
I am the wife that values my independence, but also misses his presence in our days.
I am the wife that fights for him – my weapons are words and not guns, but my husband will always know that he is respected and valued in his home.
I am the wife that often resents those other spouses with their “normal” schedules, their weekends together, their summer days, and their dinners all gathered around the table.
I am the wife that gets so used to being alone that sometimes when he is home it takes getting used to.
I am the wife whose kids add “police officer” to their list of superheroes, right next to Batman and Iron Man.
I am the wife that is used to rescheduling appointments 2 or 3 times because – court, drug bust, collar, shooting.
I am the wife that feels a bond with women I have never met, because our family is “blue,” and we understand each other’s hearts.
I am the wife that has cried aching tears for a family I do not know as I watch tiny hands wave goodbye to a father they may not remember.
I am the wife who feels relief when that “I’m ok” text comes in after the media announces an officer down.
I am the wife who feels guilty that I feel relief, knowing another wife is now in pain.
I am the wife that has felt such anger over the injustice of a world that decides people’s lives based on a video clip shared on social media.
I am the wife that plans vacations spur of the moment, because in-advance plans inevitably get cancelled.
I am the wife that has felt disappointed or disgusted by the wrongdoing of officers.
I am the wife that waits for the sound of his boots on the stairs each night.
I am the wife that feels pride when I see him dressed in those blues, and I know for sure that his heart, despite all that it has seen, is strong and good.
I am the wife that tells him: “Come home to me,” and when he says “I will,” we both know it’s a promise he might not keep.
I am the wife that is just like you.
I love. I struggle. I cry. I laugh. I fight. I overcome.
I am the wife that walks the Thin Blue Line.