Come Home To Me

I thought it would fade over time, the way my throat closes and a momentary panic washes over me. I thought it would get easier to hear about the most recent loss, that eventually an unexpected knock at the door wouldn’t freeze my heart. I hoped that somehow I would become one of those people to whom the death of […]

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Thin Blue Line Shopping!

You guys! Today is a fun one for me, and I hope for you, too! Grab your coffee and pull up a chair! If you’re following this blog as a police wife, you probably found me through one of my from-the-heart posts about life as a police family. We all have different schedules, unique challenges, and unpredictable days, but at […]

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They Forgot

They forgot how many times you answered when they called. They forgot the lives you saved, and all the wounds you healed. They forgot how you stood patiently for hours while they marched, and that your own opinions didn’t matter on that day. They forgot that it was you who held their hands; that your eyes, too, were filled with […]

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This Is Our Life

“Never go to bed angry.” “Always kiss goodbye.” “Think before you speak.” “Live in the present.” Everyone has heard all that. So had I. I thought I was living by those words, and maybe I more or less was. It wasn’t until shortly after I was married, though, that I came to fully understand how important it all is. The […]

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Today I Kissed My Love Goodbye

Today I kissed my love goodbye. “Don’t forget your dinner!” “Do you have your gun and shield?” “Come home safe!” I kissed my love goodbye – and watched him walk away. Every day. All these years of practicing this same routine and it somehow has gotten harder instead of easier. That voice inside me wondering – was that the last […]

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Where’s Your Husband?

I’m there alone – again – and it’s only a matter of time before someone asks. The day was long, it’s still not over, and the hours of single parenting are wearing me down. I sit quietly. The breezy small talk isn’t coming easily to me today, but I smile as the other parents chat. And then, the inevitable: “Where’s […]

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Every One Is You

I see their faces, hear their names. I watch their families, heads held high, but eyes always filled with pain. I see them hand that flag and every time, just for a moment, I imagine myself standing there, reaching out my hands to take it. It’s my nightmare, the one that never goes away. It’s the thought that keeps me […]

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They Don’t See Him

He is finally home after working a 26-hour shift. He’s exhausted and should be in bed, but he’s on the couch across from me instead. “I’m not tired, sweetheart, I want to be with you.” 5 minutes later – he’s snoring mid-sentence. Today Mikey informed me that “when we all grow up Daddy’s going to be a hero.” But Daddy […]

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